Featured just this week (April 30th 2009) on NBC’s The Today Show, the Tummy Tub basically mimics the mother’s womb while providing a safe and warm place for children to bathe. Essentially an ergonomically designed skid-proof bucket, the Tummy Tub has been used extensively in Europe by parents and health care providers and is just now making its way stateside.

We were introduced to the Tummy Tub several years ago when we were visiting friends in Canada who showed us how the Tub worked. What was cool about that evening was that our friends had allowed their little boy to eat dinner in the buff, all the while keeping a nice and warm Tummy Tub right next to the dinner table. As soon as he was finished eating, they dropped him right into the Tummy Tub, and we were all even able to finish our meal with him just a few feet away enjoying his evening bath.

One of the biggest positive features about the Tummy Tub is its ability to calm infants and children before bedtime. Perhaps this is due to how closely the warm and cozy Tummy Tub mimics the womb, a place children recognize as safe and familiar.

We import our Tummy Tubs direct from Germany, so don’t wait until the last minute to purchase your Tummy Tub if you are pregnant or due in the near future, as occasionally shipments take about 2-3 weeks to deliver.

To buy an Original Tummy Tub, CLICK HERE NOW!

In addition to founding www.OrganicGreenDaddy.com, Paul maintains a blog over at www.monkeyinmymind.com, commenting on politics, sports, film, and whatever else his Monkey has in store for him.

Now that Lauren is pregnant with our second child, I’ve been thinking a lot about my role and responsibilities throughout the course of this new pregancy, as well as what my duties should be during labor and childbirth, given what I learned the first time around.

For our first pregnancy, we were of course filled with excitement, curiosity, and anticipation. We went through everything hand-in-hand, including the early crises (originally doctors determined that Lauren would undergo an “abnormal” pregnancy and possible misscarriage), all of the subsequent doctor and midwife appointments, the birth center and hospital tour, the meetings with the doula, the birthing classes, etc. Throw in a lot of reading (which I outline in my earlier post, A Real Man’s Guide to Pregnancy) in addition to things we made up “organically,” like creating a song to sing to our baby in the womb, as well as designated “together and talking time,” in which we cuddled in bed and I made a point to speak into her belly and welcome the new child into the world, I feel pretty proud about my efforts in not only supporting my wife’s journey, but also doing all I could to ensure a safe and smooth delivery.

Ultimately, our delivery did not at all go according to plan. While we planned a natural childbirth at New York City’s only birthing center at St. Luke’s Roosevelt Hospital, we ended up with an emergency c-section, a result that I bear some of the responsibility in bringing about.

And this is the point I want to make regarding what I am realizing my role is during this, our second pregnancy. The first time around, I was extremely excited, and while I obviously couldn’t experience everything my wife experienced, I was very much her partner and the primary source of her emotional and physical support. So when it came time to the delivery, and the interventions began when things didn’t “progress” like our midwife (actually, she was more of a “med-wife”) had anticipated, my wife was asked if she wanted to go down the epidural route
to help her deal with her discomfort.

My wife was in a tough position after many hours of labor in the middle of the night and couldn’t articulate what she wanted. She felt tempted to go with the drugs, but also felt conflicted, as this route ran contrary to her ideas of having a natural childbirth. So she asked for my advice on what to do.

My answer to her came from my personal family history. All of my life growing up I had to hear my mother tell a story about my birth in which she was asked by the doctors if she wanted painkillers, to which my dad responded, “We’re fine.”

“Speak for yourself, buddy!” my mother responded, angrily, and received the painkiller to help her along. My mom always told this story like it was some kind of funny family anecdote, evidence of my dad perhaps chauvinistically assuming he knew what was best for his young wife, and subsequently being put in his place by a woman who was quite clear about what she wanted.

So when I was asked this question by Lauren, “What do you think I should do?” re: the epidural, I didn’t want to be that guy who is out of touch with his wife’s struggle. But the problem was that I knew inside what was best for my wife, which was for her to pass on the epidural, because 1) she does not do well with any pharmaceutical drugs, especially painkillers, and 2) because doing so would undermine our intention to give birth as naturally as possible.

I told her I thought she should do it, and ultimately it was the epidural, and her incredibly adverse reaction to it, which led to the next series of interventions, resulting in an emergency c-section, which I now view as a inevitable conclusion to an over-medicalized birth.

So what does this mean for our second pregnancy?

For starters I realize that things can get extremely hairy during a delivery. A woman might say and do things during labor that seem to run contrary to her beliefs and/or values. My view is that it is the daddy’s job to keep the partnership on track with its intentions, which is why it is so important to lay out the parameters within the context of birthing plan early on in the pregnancy, so that both partners can manifest the delivery that they intended. Obviously things sometimes come up that are beyond anyone’s control, but if the male birthing parnter can keep everyone on track with the shared goals and intentions he will have his part to fulfill the lionshare of his responsibilities.

And that takes courage. Quite frankly, it took courage to tell Lauren back then that I didn’t think it was right to take the epidural and to be perfectly honest I failed her and us in that respect. I gave in and said what I thought she and the medwife wanted to hear, as opposed to what I knew to be true and right (for us).

Beyond keeping the couple on track with their intentions, the other major role I realize daddies need to live up to is providing as much emotional support as possible. During a second pregnancy, a man will naturally “feel” less than the pregnant mommy. Besides the obvious reasons of not actually carrying a child, a man, who often will perceive the world logically and linearly, will experience a different level of excitement the second time around. This doesn’t mean he doesn’t care as much or is not as emotionally invested. It just simply means that a man’s brain and survival skills tells him that he’s been here before, he’s seen this or that before, and must now keep focused on the task at hand: the healthy conclusion to the pregnancy. Whereas a woman might literally feel all the same emotions all over again, including the magic and wonderment associated with being a vessel of new life, the man may sometimes appear to be less emotionally involved, bringing up pain or frustration or even anger on the part of the expecting mother.

The key to work through this apparent chasm of experience is the key to many other disagreements during a marriage or intimate relationship: healthy communication. I realize now that as a father I face different challenges during this second pregnancy. Not only do I have to keep my eye on our birthing plan and my wife and child’s safety, but I must also communicate lovingly and fearlessly to my wife that I am not only inspired by this magical experience, but also ready to be there for her as a source of emotional and spiritual support.

Have a comment, question, or idea for a post?  Email Paul by clicking here. In addition to founding www.OrganicGreenDaddy.com, Paul maintains a blog over at www.monkeyinmymind.com, commenting on politics, sports, film, and whatever else his Monkey has in store for him.

Back in August 2008, we presented an article called Uncovering the Truth About Toy Safety, in which we explained the challenges parents face when selecting safe toys for their children. Ironically, at the same time, the United States Congress was also at work on this issue in reaction to widespread product recalls on toys imported from China, mostly due to instances of lead-based paint. That same month, President George W. Bush signed what would be called the Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act into law, which on the surface appeared to be a victory for parents and consumers concerned about obtaining safe toys and gear for their kids.

Closer inspection of the law, however, reveals a disturbing fact for many Organic Green Mommies and Daddies who already opt out of buying plastic mass-produced toys in favor of handmade and wooden toys like the ones available in our Organic Green Shop: this law, meant to protect American consumers might very well ban all handmade toys in the United States and put out of business the manufacturers and toy companies who already produce natural and non-toxic children’s products who not only have been on the vanguard of this issue for many years, but are also contributing to the American economy and American manufacturing in a significant and positive way during a time of economic upheaval and uncertainty.

The reason why? The new law places requirements on all manufacturers of children’s items to submit their products for prohibitively expensive third-party testing, which can cost up to $4000 per toy, a figure that for many low-volume, low-margin manufacturers and “mom & pop” toy companies (many of whom stock the inventory here at Organic Green Mommy) would simply but them out of business. In addition, the law is so sweeping and expansive, that it covers not just toys, but virtually all products made for children under 12, effectively rendering illegal any and all handmade children’s clothes and other items found at craft fairs or produced locally.

Larger multi-national toy companies who produce hundreds of thousands or millions of units would have little trouble complying with testing requirements, as the costs involved could be spread out over a much larger manufacturing process and absorbed with little effect on their profitiability or final cost to the consumer. The result of the law: parents will have little to no choice when it comes to purchasing toys for their children and will be effectively forced into purchasing toys from the very same mass-market manufacturers who were the culprits behind last year’s toy recalls, or face the risk of buying toys and children’s products illegally.

Clearly this law is devoid of commonsense and undermines American manufacturers and entrepreneurs in a significant fashion. You can read the law for yourself by clicking here.

A recent article in the Boston Herald explains the plight of one independent retailer in Massachusetts who is extremely concerned about the impact of the new on his business. This retailer is not alone in his concern and now, many manufacturers, retailers, consumers, and concerned American citizens are banding together to influence Congress and President-Elect Barack Obama to revise the law to exclude handmade toys.

What You Can Do

There are many ways to help ensure Congress revises this law in a way that promotes choice and doesn’t put a thriving and growing manufacturing sector out of business.

1) All concerned parents should write their representatives in Congress.

To contact your Representative in the US Congress, click here.

To contact your Senator, click here.

Don’t know what to write? Here’s a tip, keep it simple and respectful. Here’s a sample letter you can cut and paste into your note to Congress (courtesy the Handmade Toy Alliance):

From: [your name and address]

To: [your congress person or senator]

Re: Changes needed to the Consumer Product Improvement Act (CPSIA) to Save Handmade Toys in the USA

Dear [your congress person or senator],

Like many people, I was deeply concerned by the dangerous and poisonous toys that large Chinese toy manufacturers have been selling to our nations families. And, I was very pleased that Congress acted quickly to protect America’s children by enacting the CPSIA.

However, I am very concerned that the CPSIA’s mandates for third party testing and labeling will have a dramatic and negative effect on small toymakers in the USA, Canada, and Europe, whose toy safety record has always been exemplary.

Because of the fees charged by Third Party testing companies, many toymakers, especially makers of unique and beautiful wooden toys from Maine to Oregon will be driven out of business. Their cottage workshops simply do not make enough money to afford the $4,000 price tag per toy that Third Party testers are charging.

I urge you to quickly rewrite the CPSIA so that toys made in batches of less than 5,000 units per year or manufactured within the USA and trusted countries with established toy safety regimes such as Canada and the European Union be held exempt from third party testing requirements. Such toys could still be subject to random auditing by the CPSC.

If you feel that testing should still be required, then the CPSC should be made to offer free testing services for USA toymakers and importers from Europe or Canada with revenues less than one million dollars.

These toy makers have earned and kept the public’s trust. They provide jobs for hundreds and quality playthings for thousands. Their unique businesses should be protected. Please visit www.handmadetoyalliance.org to learn more about this issue.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Sincerely,


[your name]

2) You can contact the Consumer Product Safety Commission, the legislative body overseeing the law itself.

Contact them directly by clicking here.

3) Sign the Handmade Toy Alliance’s petition.

4) If you are a Facebook person, you can become a friend of the movement there by clicking here.

5) Finally, you can contact President-Elect Obama’s portal for ideas by clicking on the widget below:

Bottom line, it’s not too late to force Congress to alter the law and return rational thinking to the subject of children’s product safety. The important thing for all of us to remember is that safe and healthy choices should remain in the hands of parents, and that parents should remain vigiliant and empowered when it comes to deciding what products they purchase and use for their children. Legislating an essential function of parenting is not effective, efficient, or common sensical. This is a call to action for parents to reclaim their solemn duty of protecting their children and fostering their growth.

Have a comment, question, or idea for a post? Email Paul by clicking here. In addition to founding www.OrganicGreenDaddy.com, Paul maintains a blog over at www.monkeyinmymind.com, commenting on politics, sports, film, and whatever else his Monkey has in store for him.

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In a previous post I discussed the process of putting “Victory Focus” into action in order to manifest results. This process involves:

1) Imagining the results we wish to experience

2) Visioning with emotion and power what a reality containing those results would feel like

3) Believing with absolute certainty that our dreams are possible

4) Finally, co-creating those previously “imaginary” concepts, dreams, and intentions into physical reality.

These techniques and tools have never been more essential and necessary than precisely at this moment, considering the “financial crisis” that we are seeing all around us, especially when we focus on external stimuli like the evening news, the internet, talk radio, and newspapers. Ironically, when one looks at this problem through the lens of prosperity consciousness, one realizes that the perception of the problem is as much of the problem as the problem itself. In other words, a commonly accepted spiritual maxim of prosperity consciousness states that what we focus on expands. So if we focus on lack, if we focus on debt, if we focus on fear, if we focus on crisis, if we focus on greed, all of those things expand.

While no sane person would advocate or recommend practicing denial in order to cope with this “crisis,” a more healthy way of dealing with the current financial situation in the country would be to avert our attention away from the car crash, keep our eyes on the road ahead of us, and focus on the things that we wish to manifest in our lives, instead of the things we don’t wish to experience.

I cannot explain why this is, but many of us are programmed to automatically shift into fear mode when it comes to a multitude of circumstances in our lives. How often when considering a business move or financial decision do we first entertain the thought of failure? For example, let’s say a person is planning on listing their house for sale. They might look up and down their street and notice dozens of other “For Sale “signs, silently calculating in their head how long those signs have been up. They might remember that a friend or realtive had their house up for sale for a year or more, and if they did happen to sell, they lost money or barely broke even. Taking all of these cues, or mental blueprints into account, that person will probably conclude: “I’ll never sell my home.”

If that same person is considering buying a new home, they might remember that news report from the night before talking about the tightening of credit and might say: “I’ll never get a loan with everything that’s going on right now.”

If a person is considering a career change, they might consider the “fact” that CNN reported many companies are not hiring right now: “I’ll never find a new job.”

This pattern goes on and on and informs so much of our thinking that most of us never question it and simply assume that being habitually disappointed is just a part of life!

What’s incredible is that if we logically examine this phenomenon, we will discover the following: thoughts fuel results. If we assume lack, adversity, and difficulty, those things usually manifest in our external experience. Don’t believe me? Here’s an exercise: think of the happiest, wealthiest, healthiest person that you know. Go on, do it, you probably know somebody who has achieved some form of success. Now, recall your conversations and experiences with that person and ask yourself: “How often has person x complained about not enough, has felt sorry for themself, or has blamed their problems on others?” The answer you will probably come to is: not very often. While many of us experience moments of weakness, those of us who are manifesting extraordinary life experiences are also creating extraordinary visions for how we wish to live our lives.

But what if we habitually go to the negative? Well, recognizing this habit is a powerful first step, so congratulate yourself on that. The cool thing is that we have the power to change our habits. The only prequisite for change is belief in the possibility of change. And this begins with another simple question you can ask yourself, despite your present circumstances: “Do you believe it is possible to manifest prosperity in your life if you only had the tools, the help, and the guidance?” Most people will probably say yes to this, which is a huge first step, but then go right back to an error in thinking when they assume that the “help” they desire will come from the outside.

In order to advance from this first step to actually manifesting the changes we desire is to simply believe that what we want is possible, and then completely detach ourselves from the how. The how is none of our business, only the what. We believe that the sun will rise, that our hearts will continue to beat, that it will get warmer in the summer and cooler in the winter. We believe all these things and so they are. So what if we chose to incorporate other beliefs, positive beliefs, into our mental blueprint? Isn’t that revolutionary?

I mean literally imagine this, dream it up, play make believe. Many of us have heard the phrase, “Fake it ’till you make it.” What this means is that if we are embarking on a path and using tools with which others have achieved success, but we’re still not convinced that we’ll be able to experience the same success, what if we simply pretended that we were on the right path? This technique is used all the time to overcome addictions in just about every 12-step program there is, but can also be used very effectively to manifest any outcome we desire.

And why not, because it doesn’t cost anything to simply believe something, does it? So going back to the question above, which many people will answer yes to: What if we simply imagined that we already possessed the tools, help, and guidance to manifest our dreams?

The logical construct of this new “blueprinting” is as follows:

I. We accept that we would be able to manifest our desires if only we had the tools.

II. We accept that belief is the cornerstone of our reality.

III. We consciously choose to believe that we already have the tools.

IV. Since we already have the tools, we accept that will be able to manifest our desires.

It’s that simple. The only wrinkle to this whole process is the concept of time. How long are we willing to persist until the miracle occurs? Many people read articles like this, get all excited, begin the visioning process and then get frustrated that their results don’t manifest immediately. Well the old adage, “Rome wasn’t built in a day” comes into play here. If it took an entire lifetime to build our negative and destructive belief structure it might take more than a few days to tear the city down and build anew. The crazy part is that the concept of time is as much of a belief as anything else, so it can be manipulated and “wrinkled” according to our desires if so only we can believe that achieving results in a manner that requires less and less physical time is possible. A tip for beginners is to start with “small” desires that you will reasonably expect to be accomplished in short order, if only you had the tools. From success wtih small things, we can build towards to bigger and better dreams and goals.

This whole process should be fun and exciting. And it helps to have additional tools at your disposal. I recently started using some audio programs from Melissa Zollo. Melissa Zollo is an “Imagist” who runs a personal development business called Present Memory and her instructions are powerful, clear, and inspiring. I began with her program “Discover the Power of Imagination” and have recently begun her money-attracting program, “How to Unleash the Power Within to Attract Money.” Over the course of about 30 days, I was able to sell my current home at a substantial profit within about three weeks, manifest my dream house, and also register a personal record in terms of revenue and sales in my business. Currently I am visioning to get substantial repair work done on my car without having to pay a penny for it. All of this during an “economic downturn,” and a “housing burst.” I simply chose not to identify with these negative concepts. I highly recommend these powerful products. You can buy them by clicking right here.

Paul Davison is the Founder of OrganicGreenDaddy, the Co-Founder of OrganicGreenMommy and also runs a blog at Monkey In My Mind, commenting on personal development, politics, sports, and culture, and whatever else the Monkey has in store for him.

Late in 2007, just as the holiday toy-shopping season was ramping into high gear, some of the biggest stories coming out of the $20 billion per year toy industry weren’t about the latest innovations or the next hot property. Instead, just about every headline about toys sold in the United States concerned wave after wave of toy recalls.

The major culprit, by and large, was excessive amounts lead paint used on toys originating from Chinese toy manufacturers. A major question emerging in the wake of these recalls was why were manufacturers continuing to use lead paint, despite American regulations requiring fewer than 600 parts of lead per million in paint used on consumer products like toys.

The answer shouldn’t be shocking to anyone. The reason manufacters were using lead paint was simple: it’s cheaper, up to one-third the cost of a safer paint mixture.

But here’s something that actually might be shocking to American consumers: Chinese regulations concerning lead paint are even stricter than those in the United States. A New York Times article on the subject tells us that, “on the books, China’s paint standards are stricter than those in the United States, requiring that paint intended for household or consumer-product use contain no more than 90 parts of lead per million.”

Which begs the question, if Chinese and American regulations are strict as they seem to be, why do dangerous toys keep slipping onto American store shelves, and what are parents to do?

The answer to the first question is disturbing in the sense that even a cursory examination into Chinese manufacturing processes reveals that by and large, strict regulations are nothing more than smoke and mirrors, and Chinese factories essentially will do whatever they want, or at least whatever the client wants when it comes to delivering the toys on time and according to budget. With the proliferation of big-box stores like Wal-Mart and Target, depressed consumer confidence, and increased competition, price is king and therefore drives production practices. As always, however, the old adage is true: you get what you pay for.

Which leads us to the second question, which concerns what we as parents are supposed to do given the uncertainty surrounding the latest products in the industry, especially those (nearly all) whose origins are in Chinese factories. With the “Go Green” movement building momentum in the United States, there are more and more options available to consumers who wish to purchase toys from manufacturers whose primary concern is safety, not making toys as cheaply as possible. OrganicGreenMommy’s Natural Toy Shop, featuring wooden toys, natural plush toys, and toys made from real rubber as opposed to potentially toxic plastics, is a great place to start.

Even parents who decide to purchase toys at mainstream retailers can practice safer shopping habits if they apply a few of the following tips:

• Read The Label. This point of course applies to food-buying as well, but couldn’t be more appropriate when it comes to buying toys. If you notice that a toy is “Made in China,” and is painted, realize that there is a possibility of that paint containing lead for the reasons cited above. According to the Consumer Product Safety Commission, of roughly 39 lead-related recalls this year, 38 were of Chinese-made goods. Is it possible to avoid Chinese toys while still shopping at Wal-Mart or Toys R’ Us? I’m not sure, but more than regulations and laws, consumer demand will always be a driving market force. If enough consumers demand higher standards, companies will be forced to comply or lose market share.

• Avoid Plastics. Besides the lead paint used to brightly color most toys, in some cases the plastics and chemicals used to make the toys themselves can be toxic. Whether or not there is a recall concerning plastics, in the United States, phthalates (pronounced thay-lates) are often added to make plastics softer and squishier. Phthalates are banned for use in consumer all over the world, but still not in the United States, and the mainstream toy industry is fighting the science that attests to their dangers tooth and nail, as currently phthalates are cheapest vehicle to achieve that desired consistency. More and more, however, there are alternatives available, this site, www.oregontoxics.org, has some great information on the subject. Alternatives like wood and certain textiles can be safer, and more desirable in a different way, as they encourage a naturalistic and tactile connection between your child and their surrounding world.

• Avoid Small Parts. While much of the focus has been on lead paint, choking hazards are perhaps a more acute concern to US consumers. Although not necessarily a “green” issue, this concern could fall under the category of “Conscious Parenting,” as we parents should try to present toys to our children that present possibilities for imagination and growth as opposed to automated, pre-programmed “fun.” The Center for Disease Control reports that around 2800 people die from choking each year, most of whom are children. While not exactly an epidemic, still something parents of which should at least be conscious.

• Encourage Imagination. Tying into my point above about encouraging a naturalistic connection to our children’s environment, this tip is perhaps the most important. What we as parents need to continue to realize is that we hold the power to shape and create exciting and playful environments that not only enliven with fun but also serve as powerful learning tools. My daughter has a blast playing with beautiful scarves, musical instruments, tea sets, non-toxic “play-dough,” and coloring books, none of which require batteries, expensive accessories, or backbreaking assembly and set up. Most of all, these playthings and activities encourage play from the inside out, cultivating imagination and encouraging connection to others and her outside world. In addition, she also loves “play” activities that don’t require toys or supplies at all, like helping us in the kitchen, weeding the garden, or wrestling with us on mommy and daddy’s bed.

Conscious parenting is about empowering ourselves and knowing that we can help reveal a beautiful and inviting world for our children that fosters their learning, emotional growth, and overall development.

For more information on the subject of toy safety, here is a link to the W.A.T.C.H. (World Against Toys Causing Harm) website. There is plenty of great information here, including lists of the “10 Worst Toys” of each year. Click here to see which toys made the list in 2007.

Have a comment, question, or idea for a post? Email Paul by clicking here. In addition to founding www.OrganicGreenDaddy.com, Paul maintains a blog over at www.monkeyinmymind.com, commenting on politics, sports, film, and whatever else his Monkey has in store for him.

Several weeks ago I ran a post about the dangers of cell phones, especially in terms of the use of them by children. Ironically, about ten days later, the University of Pittsburgh Cancer Institute released a study essentially confirming some of the international science I had referenced in my post. Six days later, Larry King featured the issue on his show, interviewing a panel of experts about some of the findings and recommendations revealed in the University of Pittsburgh study. It seems like finally this issue is reaching the mainstream and that can only be a good thing.

In this post, I’d like to go over the University of Pittsburgh study in detail. You can download the study for yourself by clicking here. The Case for Precaution in the Use of Cell Phones The study begins by confirming that the main concern with regards to cell phone use is the presence of Electromagnetic fields:

Electromagnetic fields from cell phones are estimated to penetrate the brain especially in children…[and] [l]iving tissue is vulnerable to electromagnetic fields within the frequency bands used by cell phones…The most recent studies, which include subjects with a history of cell phone usage for a duration of at least 10 years, show a possible association between certain benign tumors (acoustic neuromas) and some brain cancers on the side the device is used.

To me, this statement alone, by an accredited US cancer research center, is enough for me to realize that there are potential dangers involved with cell phone use. Of course the very next paragraph in the study is a disclaimer, lest the science create “undue” panic and/or a financial dent in the multi-billion dollar telecommunications industry [emphasis mine]

:

However, human epidemiological studies on cell phones conducted to date cannot be conclusive. Due to their recently increased use, we are not yet able to evaluate their long term impact on health. Even where an association between exposure and cancer is well established and the risk very high — as with tobacco and lung cancer — under similar study conditions (in other words with people who smoked for less than 10 years) it would be difficult, if not impossible, to identify an increased risk of cancer, as the risk appears mostly 15 to 35 years later.

It seems ironic that the researchers are in one breath establishing a connection between cell phone use and brain cancer, but in the next breath dismissing that connection as inconclusive, while using a comparison to the established link between tobacco and lung cancer as the argument to dismiss that connection.

This is where collective common sense should enter the discussion. It wasn’t until 1964 that the US Surgeon General definitively linked cigarette smoking to cancer, although numerous scientific studies, much like the University of Pittsburgh study on cell phones, had been pointing to a connection since the early 20th Century. In 1930, researchers in Germany began establishing links between smoking and cancer. In 1938 a study from John Hopkins University established that smokers do not live as long as non-smokers. In 1944, the American Cancer Society began to issue warnings. A 1952 Reader’s Digest article on the smoking/cancer link urged tobacco companies to start manufacturing low-tar and light cigarettes, and 12 years later the Surgeon General made history when he confirmed the science that had been emerging throughout the century.

Just think of how many lives could have been saved if more credence was given to the earliest studies on tobacco, if our government and consumers didn’t wait for “conclusive proof” that cigarette smoking had negative effects on human health? Why aren’t we learning from the past when it comes to the establishing the dangers of cell phones? Why must consumers wait for definitive proof of the dangers of cell phones, yet all the while continue to use these devices without definitive proof of their safety?

Much like the cigarette companies of the 1950’s and 1960’s, today’s telecommunications companies would like nothing more than for consumers to ignore these warnings and instead sit and wait for conclusive evidence of their dangers. These studies are obviously bad for business and its reasonable to assume that the telecom companies’ primary concern is the expansion of their business, not the health and safety of their consumers.

Due to the requirements of my employment, I am on the cell phone much more than I would like to be. Perhaps it is psychosomatic, but I can’t ignore the extreme heat that emanates from my phone and the associated discomfort I experience when I use my phone for extended periods of time. For me and my family, the studies I have read so far are proof enough for me to begin to limit my own use of cell phones and completely restrict my two-year old from using, touching, or playing with our cell phones. Like a moth to the flame, my daughter loves cell phones for some reason, perhaps because she so often sees Mommy and Daddy giving these cool, colorful little devices a whole lot of attention. Plus, the cell phone is so often the connection to people she loves like her grandmothers, or myself when I am travelling on business.

But my “innate parenting wisdom” tells me something is not quite right about positioning an electromagnetic-emitting device right next to my little daughter’s developing brain. Despite the conclusion that seems to want to have it both ways, the University of Pittsburgh research team still published several recommendations to reduce any possible risk, which I will cite below:

1. Do not allow children to use a cell phone except for emergencies. The developing organs of a fetus or child are the most likely to be sensitive to any possible effects of exposure to electromagnetic fields.
2. Try to keep the cell phone away from the body as much as possible. The amplitude of the electromagnetic field is 1/4 the strength at a distance of two inches and 50 times lower at three feet. Whenever possible, use the speaker-phone mode or a wireless Bluetooth headset, which has less than 1/100 th of the electromagnetic emission of a normal cell phone.
3. Avoid using your cell phone in places, like a bus, where you can passively expose others to your phone’s electromagnetic fields.
4. Avoid carrying your cell phone on your body at all times. Do not keep it near your body at night such as under the pillow or on a bedside table, particularly if pregnant.
5. If you must carry your cell phone on you, make sure that the keypad is positioned toward your body and the back is positioned toward the outside so that the transmitted electromagnetic fields move away from your rather than through you.
6. Only use your cell phone to establish contact or for conversations lasting a few minutes as the biological effects are directly related to the duration of exposure. For longer conversations, use a land line with a corded phone, not a cordless phone, which uses electromagnetic emitting technology similar to that of cell phones.
7. Switch sides regularly while communicating on your cell phone to spread out your exposure. Before putting your cell phone to the ear, wait until your correspondent has picked up. This limits the power of the electromagnetic field emitted near your ear and the duration of your exposure.
8. Avoid using your cell phone when the signal is weak or when moving at high speed, such as in a car or train, as this automatically increases power to a maximum as the phone repeatedly attempts to connect to a new relay antenna.
9. When possible, communicate via text messaging rather than making a call, limiting the duration of exposure and the proximity to the body.
10. Choose a device with the lowest SAR possible (SAR = Specific Absorption Rate, which is a measure of the strength of the magnetic field absorbed by the body). SAR ratings of contemporary phones by different manufacturers are available by searching for “sar ratings cell phones” on the internet. [Using this search phrase, I learned that my cell phone, the Motorola Razr, has the lowest SAR of all commercially available phones in the US. Whew!]

In the end, this is a decision that every individual needs to make for themselves and that parents need to make for their children. Although there are many positive benefits allowing our children to use cell phones, especially in terms of providing a lifeline in case of emergencies, it’s important to understand that there was a time that every adult on this planet got by without them.

In addition to founding www.OrganicGreenDaddy.com, Paul maintains a blog over at www.monkeyinmymind.com, commenting on politics, sports, film, and whatever else his Monkey has in store for him.

Photo: Merve Toprak

This month we didn’t host a Blog Carnival due to vacation, but I did receive a couple of interesting articles nonetheless that I think a lot of people will find interesting.

The first is blog post about using disposable diapers: Celebrate Independence From Disposable Diapers posted at not the jet set. “Not the Jet Set” has been a past contributer to our blog carnival and runs an interesting blog.

Not the Jet Set might be interested in one of our articles, located over in the OrganicGreenMommy Parenting Information section, called: “The Diaper Dilemma: Which Diapers Are the Most Green?,” by Dr. Alan Greene.

The other blog post is presented by Chris and it’s called 3 Steps to the Perfect Vegetable Garden (Part Two), posted at his blog, Smith Family Garden. I like this post because it provides simple-to-understand & valuable information, and provides helpful photos. I’d sure like to find the time to do more gardening myself and will certainly be checking out Chris’s blog when I do so.

Below is a sample of one of Chris’ photos…

All right…that’s it for now. On September 1st we will officially be back on track with our next blog carnival and hope to have many submissions. ]]> http://organicgreendaddy.com/2008/08/01/on-the-daddy-blogosphere-what-other-organicgreendaddies-are-up-to/feed/ 0 http://organicgreendaddy.com/2008/07/02/moving-into-the-big-girl-bed/ http://organicgreendaddy.com/2008/07/02/moving-into-the-big-girl-bed/#comments Wed, 02 Jul 2008 11:24:47 +0000 PavlerDaddy http://organicgreendaddy.com/?p=153 by Paul Davison

Photo by: Carla Peroni

When Lauren got pregnant, we made the decision early on that when Isabel was born, we would practice attachment parenting. You can read all about my take on AP in one of my previous posts here, but the bottom line of the concept involves trying as much as possible to ease the separation between child and parent, thereby creating a more loving and nurturing atmosphere for growth and a more confident child. What that translates into as far as everyday life goes is a lot of carrying in slings and wraps, and perhaps most significantly, the child sleeping with mommy and daddy in the family bed. We feel we were pretty successful for the most part on those goals but realized we had a challenge on our hands when we were ready for the little one to be out of our bed at night, so we could attempt to restore a semblance of the whole “man and wife” thing.

Perhaps in part because we were practicing AP, our daughter never took to the crib. This also might be due to her natural personality as well, who knows, but bottom line – the crib was more of an ornament than an actual sleeping device. Anytime she fell asleep in our arms, the stroller, or the car and we tried to move her into the crib, she would suddenly awake the moment she was lowered within the confines of the barred enclosure. It wasn’t long before we stopped trying and resigned ourselves to the idea that she might be in bed with us for a long while.

Fortunately my wife had the brilliant idea of taking down the crib and opening up a futon that we had in her room in case guests spent the night. We converted the futon for permanent use into a double bed making sure to push it into the walls so it was protected on two sides. On the floor along the long edge of the bed, we placed an enormous six foot long stuffed caterpillar that was a gift from her grandmother (and something I initially hoped would make its way to the Parent Swap listings) and ultimately served a useful purpose as a giant cushion in case the little one took a header out of her bed.

She was 14 months old, and we had made the decision to start putting her down in her new “Big Girl Bed.” She really liked her new bed because it was pretty and girly and decorated with beautiful pillows and about a dozen stuff animals. We made the point of spending time in her room during the daytime, pointing out how pretty the bed was and encouraging her to sit on it and read her books.

Prior to the decision to move into the Big Girl Bed, my wife would nurse her to sleep in our bed, and if she had any energy, eventually get back up and do whatever we had planned for that evening. This was tough and unsustainable, as we could not enter our own bedroom, save to go asleep ourselves, past 8 o’clock, for fear of waking up the munchkin.

For the first couple of weeks, the basic pattern was the same, except the location had shifted to her room. My wife would nurse her to sleep and then leave the room. Of course this was the plan on paper only. In actuality, it would sometimes take a while for her to fall asleep and the common side effect of this was that Lauren would fall asleep too, very often for the entire night. This was difficult considering we were trying to start OrganicGreenMommy, which often meant working late into the evenings. This method netted Lauren perhaps less sleep than when our daughter was an infant, as she would often wake up in the middle of the night for more nursing, causing Lauren to stumble down the hall at 2am to satisfy her.

So we hatched a new idea. Since I was waking up pretty early in the morning anyway we figured it would be a better idea for me to put her down and take all responsibility for her during the twilight hours. So from now on, I would put the little one to sleep at night in her bed. If she woke up in the middle of the night, I was responsible for soothing her back to sleep, up until 5 am. Anytime she woke up after 5 am, I would bring the little one into our bed for her morning nursing with Lauren. The two of them would usually sleep on and off from 5 am until 7 or 8 am, upon which time they would get up for the day.

This plan served several functions:

• One, it provided Lauren the opportunity for more time in the evenings to catch up on the website, and better sleep at night.

• Two, it offered the opportunity for special “Daddy Time” before bed, in which I would take care of all of the hygiene stuff as well as read her the bedtime story.

• We also got that special time after the lights were off and it also positioned me to be the nurturer in the middle of the night in case she woke up crying.

• Finally, it began the process of easing her into her own bed and gradually cutting down on the nursing as we were slowly transitioning her into eating “Big Girl” food.

Now, this is not to say we weren’t without a few bumps in the early going. For the first week or so, our daughter was beside herself with upset and anger that mommy wasn’t putting her to bed anymore. I felt awful lying next to her as she cried herself to sleep, but I felt confident knowing I was there next to her to rub her back and whisper in her ear that everything was going to be okay. A far cry from throwing her in a crib and shutting the door and letting her cry herself to sleep a la the Ferber Method. On about the fourth night, she realized that this was the reality she had to face. From that night on, she never cried again and happily went to bed with me.

Sometimes I would fall asleep with her myself (and therefore defeated the purpose in some ways, as Lauren and I still weren’t getting time alone in our bed) but this was okay, considering my early wakeup time and the fact that Lauren was staying up late most nights anyway working on the website. Often, Lauren would come in the room after an hour or so and wake me up, so we still were able to get time together in our bed when we wanted to.

We’ve been going strong with this method for about 8 months, but now we’ve begun a new step: leaving the room before she is asleep. We don’t do it 100% of the time, but now, very often, I will lie with her for 10 or 20 minutes and if she’s not asleep, simply whisper in her ear: “Now you’re going to go to sleep like a big girl, okay, all by yourself,” and gently walk out the room, shut the door, and not see her until the next morning.

In a future post, I will get into more specifics on this next step, which we believe is a huge accomplishment for an Attachment Parented kid: getting to sleep all by herself in her “Big Girl Bed” at the age of 22 months.

Have a comment, question, or idea for a post? Email Paul at paul@organicgreendaddy.com.

In addition to founding www.OrganicGreenDaddy.com, Paul maintains a blog over at www.monkeyinmymind.com, commenting on politics, sports, film, and whatever else his Monkey has in store for him.

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I thought I knew what a real man was...

There are few things in this world that provide a man a greater opportunity to experience the advent of true manhood than experiencing the pregnancy of one’s wife, girlfriend, or partner for the first time. I say this coming from the perspective of thinking I knew all about what it meant to be a “real man,” only to find out that I knew nothing at all. Let me explain…

And then my wife got pregnant.

For the first time in my life I began to understand what being a real man means. It means being giving, wise, resourceful, and caring. It means providing and creating a safe space for your family to prosper. It means being there, every step of the way for your partner. It means getting your life in order so when the little one comes there will be food on the table, and a roof over everyone’s head (and maybe even cable too, so you and your partner to can laugh your way to your delivery by watching episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm).

After hanging up my jump boots, I began a career in television and film in New York City up until the time I learned Lauren was pregnant. Suddenly I woke up, realizing the freelance lifestyle wouldn’t work for my particular family, and immediately set about finding steady work that provided benefits, health care, and a paycheck we could count on. Fortunately I found my way into the natural products industry, joining my wife who had been working in the industry for as long as she could legally file income taxes. I had already begun to adopt a natural lifestyle before actually working in the industry, but being in a green work environment helped me realize that the only way for us to navigate this pregnancy, and later raise our child, would be for us to do it naturally and organically. So here’s a few things that I did that I recommend you give a try:

1. Take a class. I joined my wife and enrolled in a pregnancy and child birth class. We chose Realbirth in New York City. (www.realbirth.com). This class was great because it had a catch-all kind of curriculum, in that Organic Green Mommies and Daddies would get a lot out of it, but it also covered more traditional mainstream ideas associated with pregnancy and child birth. And the truth is, it’s better to all about epidurals and c-sections, even if you’re planning on “going natural,” ’cause as Mr. Forrest Gump tells us, “Life is like a bowl of cherries, you never know whatchu goin’ to get.” More on that in future posts…
2. Read, brother.  Read. I read a couple of great books, besides flipping through the prerequisite “What To Expect When You’re Expecting.” One, which I recommend for everyone, OG Mums and Dads and mainstream folk alike, is “The Happiest Baby On The Block” by Dr. Harvey Karp (www.thehappiestbaby.com). This book gave me the confidence I needed to basically take over the lion’s share of the care for our newborn, considering my wife was down for the count for the first couple of days after the birth, recovering from her c-section.
3. A couple other great books that I read were definitely less conventional than Karp’s book, but filled me with wonder and awe about the child birthing process as well as the period covering the first several months and years of childhood. One of those books was, “The Magical Child.” This book has some unconventional concepts, and I quite frankly didn’t have use for all of it, but certainly learned a lot and thought a lot about its ideas, which concern the development of the child’s mind-brain from birth to adulthood, the importance of play, and the stages of detachment from the mother, through the womb, and into the world. The other interesting book I read was called, “The Continuum Concept,” in which the author describes her experiences observing indigenous cultures raise their children basically in the wild. Obviously most of us can’t live in the manner in which she describes, but her book definitely provides food for thought regarding abandoning some of the counter-productive and negative consequences of living in the Western-pharmaceutical-media-driven mainstream world.
4. Get help! The other thing I did was help my wife select a Doula for our birth. What the heck is a doula, you ask? Well, the word comes from the Greek, meaning “a female servant” (don’t get any funny ideas), and doulas are basically birthing assistants that can provide a professional level of support for our partners that quite frankly most of us men, even the “real men” aren’t capable of providing. At the very least, they form an integral part of the birthing team and can fill in for us when we need to take a break or aren’t present during labor for whatever reason.
5. Get involved with the delivery team. The same goes for the midwife or medical practitioner. It sure helps for us real men to understand who these people are and what their roles are during the process. Often times, the practitioner your partner may often see during check-ups and appointments isn’t the one who is present during the birth (usually for scheduling reasons) so it’s advisable to go with your partner on as many of her appointments as possible so you can meet as many of the people in the practice as possible. Knowing the personalities of these people can definitely be helpful, especially if any problems arise during the process.
6. Help create a Birthing Plan. One of the most important things we can do as real men is to have many conversations with our partners during the pregnancy with the goal of creating a “birthing plan” for the big day. I advise even writing one down so both partners understand what is expected out of one another, and writing things down often indicates whether or not we may be missing or forgetting something. As it turned out for us, we planned for a natural birth but were sure to at least talk about and create rudimentary plans for what we would do in the event something changed.
7. Enjoy your partner during this process. One of the most fun aspects of the pregnancy were the rather unexpectedly frequent opportunities for intimacy. So much so that I’m actually planning on writing a book called, “My Wife is a Hot Pregnant Mamma, and Other Observations From a First-Time Father.” You do the math.
8. Take lots of pictures. Along the lines of the previous point, take the opportunity to photograph your partner. As an expecting father it is wild how your perceptions of beauty and attraction mature. My wife was so amazingly beautiful to me during her pregnancy and I am glad that I took several opportunities to capture that beauty in tasteful and artistic photography.
9. Step up to the plate. Understand that many times you must be serve as the voice for your partnership and will be called upon to speak up for your little family’s best interests. My wife was diagnosed with gestational diabetes early on in the process and had to undergo a ridiculous amount of additional testing to include traditional diabetes blood sugar monitoring and very frequent ultra sounds. Because of this condition, our hospital in which our birthing center was housed tried over and over again to get us out of a natural birth and into a pharmaceutically-enhanced medical birth, even labeling us as “high risk.” There were several instances in which I had to fight for our birthing plan against teams of doctors who no doubt for liability reasons were trying to alter our plans. My wife, who passionately shared our desire to birth naturally, at times was overcome with emotions and hormones and was unable to speak up in the same way. I had to step up and protect our plan and speak for her, which is why sharing the birthing plan is so important, as it may turn out to be up to only you who makes sure it happens. This will continue through the birthing itself, which I will cover in a future post.
10. What about registering? I was not terribly involved in the baby registry process and some ways regret this. I am basically allergic to shopping so it usually takes a Herculean effort to get my real man’s butt involved in things like this. However, if I could have avoided shopping in stores and just done it online on a registry like ours, it would have been a lot more fun for me. The reason I bring up this point is that there were a few items that we registered for – a few MAJOR items, like the car seat, the high chair, and the stroller – that we were unhappy with and if I had only just participated in the process, might have found this out before it was too late. The cardinal rule in relationships: don’t complain about something if you didn’t participate in planning it.
11. Don’t wait until the last minute…to get the nursery and the carseat set up. In fact, make these some of the first things you do. The nursery can be a lot of fun and there will undoubtedly be a lot of physical labor type stuff like moving and building cribs and hanging things that your partner will probably need you for. We also set up a co-sleeper in our bedroom which took like three weeks to figure out. See, your “due-date” isn’t necessarily the big day so it would behoove you to have all of these details in order well in advance. As far as the carseat goes, my wife and I often look back fondly to the days when we used to drive around with an empty carseat, just waiting to fill it up with our little bundle of joy.

I recently successfully negotiated a pay raise and thought I’d share some things I learned during the process…

Background

Just about six months ago I was offered a rather substantial promotion and pay raise from my previous employer. Everything was great about the package offered except for the fact that my wife and I were a little worried about the extensive travel that went along with the job (2-3 weeks a month). At about the same time I received this offer I received another offer from a different company in the same field for a similar financial package, except without the travel. After several days of introspection and analysis my wife and I decided to take the job at the new company, as we were concerned about the frequency of travel considering the fact we had a little girl at home and my wife was in the middle of starting up Organic Green Mommy and would need lots of support from me that I wouldn’t be able to give her if I were constantly away from home on the road.

The catch, if you will, was that this new job was a 100% commission sales job, while the old job was salaried, with a smaller percentage of the compensation in the form of a bonus. The good news, though, was that it was an account management-type sales job with very little cold-calling, and established accounts with yearly sales of approximately $1.3M. In other words, the fact that the company was an established industry-leader mitigated most of the risk. Further, through my research, I had learned that most Account Executives were well-paid and extremely satisfied employees. The other good news was that for the first two months I would start off with a substantial commission “guarantee,” while I learned the products, presentations, and personalities of my accounts.

Decision: I made the jump. Reality Sets In

Not long after starting the new job did I begin to notice the effects of the economic downturn that this country is currently facing, particularly in the Northeast. While the company had been growing at a pace of 20% per year, it quickly became apparent that this year would be different. Almost immediately my projections were adjusted to reflected this new reality. On one level, this was good news, as one of the ways I was to be evaluated concerned whether or not I could hit my monthly sales projections. But the flip side to this was the fact that my commission rate had been set against loftier sales goals, and with lower projections came lower commissions. After about a month into the job I became concerned that once my two-month salary guarantee period was over, I wouldn’t be making nearly as much as I had originally thought. In fact, based on current sales, I figured I would be making about the same, if not slightly less, than my “pre-promotion” position at my previous employer. Ooops!

Step One: Recognize Frustration.

At first I became upset thinking I had made a poor decision, leaving a company and products I was comfortable working with. But realizing that this line of thinking was counterproductive, considering the reality of my situation and the fact that I couldn’t turn back the hands of the time, I began to perceive this frustration as what it really was: a call to action.

Step Two: Heed the Call to Action.

One of the lessons I have learned in life is that overcoming challenging situations requires careful preparation. One of the most important aspects of preparation is to conduct rehearsals. I can’t tell you how many times my wife and I have role-played with one another when it comes to be fully prepared for job interviews, contract negotiations, and presentations. After rehearsing what I was going to say several times until I felt totally comfortable overcoming potential objections, I made a call to my immediate supervisor to explain my concerns.

Initially I was challenged when I pointed to the projections, which had been lowered but were still higher than what my territory was currently yielding. My commitment and confidence in my abilities were questioned. Since I had prepared, I knew exactly how to counter these arguments, and by the end of the call, he was asking specifically what I wanted so that I would be happy. I said I would like a larger commission but also suggested that I would take an extension on my guarantee until I had an opportunity to improve my territory. At the end of the call, he agreed to speak to his boss and assured me that they would take care of me.

Step Three: Commit to The Long Haul (The Art of Persistence)

In my view, one of the most important elements of success is the quality of persistence. I will one day write a separate post about persistence itself, but time and time again I have realized that virtually no success arrives at the first attempt, and that when I look at others who achieved success in their field, one of the most ubiquitous commonalities between all of those people is their undying persistence. In my case, my desire for an extended guarantee was the most important thing for me, but wasn’t the most important thing for my superiors. In other words, every week or so I had to force myself to check in and ask the status of my request.

It was sometimes difficult to do this because my ego was telling me that I shouldn’t come across as a whiner or someone who was greedy. I had to constantly realign myself with my intention, which for me wasn’t to simply make more money. As the sole bread-winner in the family, I had huge responsibilities. Earning the compensation I was originally presented with wasn’t a luxury. It was a neccessity if I wanted to simply pay the mortgage and all of our bills. When I continually realigned myself with my intention, I felt more comfortable being persistent with my bosses because I felt comfortable knowing my intention was pure.

Step Four: Take It to The Top

While initially my boss told me he would take care of extending my salary for me, circumstances would have it that I had to take up my case not with my boss, nor my boss’s boss, but with my boss’s boss’s boss, the co-owner of the company and the head cheese of the sales force. I had to be totally on top of my game in this situation, as this person is a skilled salesperson who himself can effortlessly overcome just about any objection. I knew that if I were to achieve success I would have to sell my case using one of the most powerful, yet often underused techniques in sales: creating a need.

Step Five: Create a Need

Most salespeople try to close a sale by trumping “features and benefits” alone. The problem is that this technique ignores the idea that successful sales is really the art of transferring emotion about something. Because I had done my research I knew that creating a need was the only way to appeal to this person’s judgment. I literally rehearsed out loud in the shower that morning, presenting my case for an extended salary based on appealing to his emotions and his need to have the best sales force in the country out there confidently representing his brand without worrying about whether or not they’ll make the mortgage that month. When I appealed to his emotion, the case was closed nearly before it began and I walked away with a four-month extension on my guarantee, with the agreement that this grace period was intended for me to go out there and rebuild the territory feeling confident that my company had my back. Not long after securing a four-month extension to my salary did I realize that this solution was temporary. As I mentioned earlier, my territory was underperforming, and even with lowered projections the commission rate was inadequate. Fortunately I backed up my calls for a more fair compensation structure with strong performance in the field. In fact, without strong performance, or “walking the walk,” all of these negotiations will eventually become moot if you’re not actually the superstar you claim to be, who deserves the best possible compensation package.

Step Six: Create a Vision for Your Life: Self-Worth Part I

The month after sitting down with the head honcho I went out and hit my sales projection, the first time the territory had done that since before I took the job. The flip-side to this was that since the projection had been lowered, hitting goal still resulted in a monthly commission that was still less than my salary guarantee and less than my previous job’s salary. Since my guarantee was established to be the low end of my compensation package I had grounds to reapproach my bosses, this time to readjust my commission rate. Now I would have the opportunity to look at my goals and decide for myself how much I was worth. Admittedly, this was a tough exercise because I found myself constantly leaning towards a rate that would produce a compensation that would simply help my family to survive, rather than to thrive. I had to do a lot of introspection to realize that I deserved to thrive and that meant I had to take a hard look at my self-worth.

I realized that this whole situation was an opportunity for me to change my personal karma and embrace a life of abundance. Coming from a military background, abundance and material success were never part of the equation when it came to career choices. I had to realize that my personal success was entirely up to me and that I could feel proud asking for more, because I was simply asking for what I had now come to accept I deserved. I wasn’t greedy asking for more money. I was finally getting honest with myself and that meant beginning a life of happiness and abundance.

So I called my boss again, pointing to the fact that I had achieved goal the previous month but was still earning less than they had promised me. This time it was a much easier sell because I was came across as successful (achieving goal the previous month) and rational (pointing to the fact that I was simply asking for what was promised when I was hired). I asked for a 2% bump in my commission, accounting for the fact that they would probably counter lower and we would settle somewhere in the middle. I made the smart move of asking for slightly more knowing that sales is always a negotiation and I would most likely have to give a little in the natural give and take cycle that is sales. They came back with 1%.

Step Seven: Know When It’s Over: Self-Worth Part II

Because I had done my homework and was willing to continue to come from a place of equity, fairness, and positive self-worth, it soon became apparent that 1% wouldn’t do it from me. While some people might throw in the towel at this point, after asking about 4 times for a pay raise, I had the self-confidence to realize that my job was still not complete. I crunched the numbers, and 1% was still less than what they offered me when I left my previous employer, and knew that in all fairness asking for what they offered me was not only fair and reasonable, but required if I were to be able to continue to look at myself in the mirror.

This time, instead of calling my boss to discuss it verbally, I wrote out a very rational, reasonable argument for an additional .5% commission raise and sent it in an email.

(FYI: I normally don’t recommend resorting to email for important negotiations as it is more difficult to transfer emotion in this medium. However, since I had laid the groundwork verbally, I deduced that at this point, a written arguement was the most effective way to state my case. More often than not, email is something of a cop out because it allows us to not have to face our fears in a more immediate context).

I included several excel spreadsheets showing my original offer, what the current package looked like, and how my proposed package equalled my initial offer. I also included a chart showing how I was already turning around the territory, taking it from -11% growth two months previous to my joining the company to +11% growth three months after taking the job, and on pace this month to achieve 15% growth.

Success!

Since my argument was well-researched, reasonable, and came from an energy field that was completely aligned with my feelings of self-worth and confidence, getting final approval on my commission package was the easiest step of the journey. It took about three months of elapsed time, hours and hours of preparation and rehearsal, clear-mindedness, and enormous persistence to pull off getting the pay package I wanted and deserved.

Step 7.5: Never Give Up

The bonus step here encompasses the idea that once you achieve success like this, it is of paramount importance to back up all of that talk and negotiation with solid results in the field. I am doing that, on my way to achieving oustanding growth and meeting sales projection for the second consecutive month, a great accomplishment for a person so green in the territory.

I always go back to something I picked up during the interview process, when my boss’s boss told me that all he wants from his Account Executives is 100% effort. If I can look him in the eye and honestly tell him I am doing all that I can to grow the business, than that is good enough. When you hire talented people who perform at a high level on a daily basis, success is virtually assured. Granted, there are some factors that are currently beyond our control in today’s economic climate. But a willingness to work hard and achieve creative solutions on a consistent basis in complicated times will almost always result in consistent success.

Paul Davison is the founder of www.organicgreendaddy.com. He also operates a blog about politics and culture at www.monkeyinmymind.com.